Hello again.. :)

Hallo, planet earth.. Been very very while for me not to write and update my lovely blog.. Hahaha... Well, semenjak terakhir aku update blog ini, sudah begitu banyak kejadian yang mengunjungi hidupku, the better and the worse. Yup, it's true. It happened in every part of my life. Yang tentunya telah membentukku menjadi diriku yang sekarang ini... *Halaahh... :p

Anyway... Akhir -akhir ini aku gak bisa memungkiri kalau pikiran ini memiliki beban yang cukup menyesakkan dada... Satu hal yang sudah berhasil menghantui setiap langkah kaki, yang walopun kelihatannya aku sama sekali gk memikirikan hal tersebut.. Yaaa.. Begitulah akuuu... Tetep aja ketawa-ketiwi kaya orang gila, lebih2 karena lagi punya nih beban..

Ini juga yang buat aku tetep berusaha buat gk terlalu memperdulikan, teman-teman seperjuangan.. Hahha... Karena, yaaa, aku tidak sendiri..!! Speaking of which, I had these beautiful images, ya gk se-gitu beautiful juga siii.. Tapi yang penting cerita di balik itu semua.. :)

That's why, I do still love my self and life more than anything... Keep pursue your dreams and respect for ur own life, Fellas..!! ^_^

Every Mom is Worth It

It's December 22, and it's a delightful day.. Yup, it is, especially for moms around the world who've been really dedicated for their family and intend to "neglect" their own needs. Yet, it makes me thinking about  the whole possibilities that might be appear and happen in the future of mine. Well, let's call it as a cliche thing but I think that we could not live easily as we wanted to be since, you know, God has His own way for us. I've been living and breathing for 22 years 'till now but still could not figure it out, at least what would I become in the next five years.. Hehe..

Being a mother is not easy, really not easy since we had to dealing with so many things that related with our family. A mother should "protect" them with love and care, and most situations, they give us the  most unconditionally love as if their own life was not really worth it. But you know what, a mother's life is much more precious than any diamonds in this world. Their life is really really worth it. Aaahhh.. I just can't imagine how my life would be, if my mother doesn't guide me. She's been always there for me, for better and for worse. Well, I admit that sometimes we argue about so many things and to be honest, I had this feeling, a "hate" feeling when those arguing wasn't ended beautifully. But hey.. That's the art of life and there is no doubt that I do really love my mom, and the more I breath and living my life, the more I realize that those things that she did to me is none other because she does really love me and wish the best for me..  :)

Therefore, I can't do anything to "payback". What I mean is that all the things she has done is really unforgettable and priceless, so I promise to my self that I just want to make her happy, for ever!! Love you so much, Mom.. Happy mother's day for every mom around the world!! :))

Spread my wings and fly away..

"Spread my wings and fly away.." is a phrase that always been running inside my head over and over again.. Kind of silly and stupid I think, but that is the fact.. I've been thinking of everything, the good and the worse, but still I really have no idea.. See, how stupid I am... Hahahaha...

You know, I had so many obsessions and dreams that I barely could to count it.. :p

I build those dreams during my entire life, but so far I could only reach, well, let's say only 2,5% of it.. Pity me!! I do realize that there are so many reasons and conditions of mine that make these dreams haven't reached yet.. I admit that I still "enjoy" my present situation and refuse to stand from my "couch". Therefore, I am still a stupid lazy young lady, I said young lady because my age is raising.. Hehehe..

I once post in my facebook that the time of mine is ticking but I still not moving. Yup, not moving, at all.. What make it so pathetic is that despite my recognition of this condition, I still haven't take an action, just an action to make it happen, but I couldn't do it.. And I've got to admit that I kind of "jealous" with those who had recognized them selves and refuse to be controlled by the situations. Aaarggh, what a feeling..

Although, I realized, that I have so many people who stand behind my back, I just feel that I'm not strong enough to spread my own wings, instead I'm waiting for.. I don't even know what I've been waiting for.. Oh my God, what a silly person I've become.. Hmmm... Yet, I'm still trying to be positive here.. I know and so believe that everything is beautiful on its time.. So, I'll keep trying to build my own life and pursue my own happiness then I could spread my wings and fly away.. :)

Well, my intention in sharing this, is none other to "push" others not to doing the same "stupid" mistake like I did, then the dreams that we had is going to be realized soon.. God bless us all..!! ^^

Movie Review: AVATAR

James Cameron's "AVATAR" is so great!!!! I put 5 star for this movie. Yup, 5 star!! No doubt about it!! 5 star for its picture, story, message, and the actions too. I guarantee that you won't regret it. This is a story about a condition where imagination met reality, since from the very first of the movie itself we are provided with a great motion picture that seems impossible to catch in the real life but it still happen beautifully.

We can see how Mr. Cameron wrap his work in a perfect way in order to show us about the life of a human being. There are so many scenes that show us how a human being could be very greedy to satisfy their own pleasure. And you know what, this is exactly what was going on in a society nowadays, what a pathetic image we had here. So, I can say that "AVATAR" is a reflection for us in living our lives and of course, it is not good for us in having these conditions. Therefore, Mr. Cameron himself is trying to make a "wake up call" so that we will not make the same old mistakes over and over again.

So guys, just go to the movies, enjoy the motions, and feel the experience yourself.. :D

Happy Holiday..!! ^^

Absurd..

I woke up this morning with an absurd feeling that quite haunted me. It really confusing since I don't think that I had a problem, my life been great lately. There's something wrong with me, I guess. Having this kind of feeling is really uncomfortable and give me a huge pressure... Hate it so much.. Hate it because I really have no idea how to solve it and it makes me look so weak.. Huaahh...

It seems that I've got to deal with it as my own "reflection of life".. I said that because I do been thinking about what would I become for about next five years and have I become a good person already.. You know, these kind of questions are quite bothering so much, at least for me though.. It's kind of a burden for me, indirectly, because you know.. We've been socialized and got involved with so many persons who really care to us, and absolutely, we won't let them down.. Well, frankly speaking, I do feel like that.. I do feel like I am letting them down, I really am not a good person. Aarrghh... If only I could turn back the time.. If only I was a better person.. If only.. If only...

Movie Review: The Mist

Just re-watched "The Mist" for the third times and still have the same thought and conclusion about it. How it possibly doesn't make any sense at the final scene.. Hahahaha... Stupid me, I guess.. :p

Anyway, if I may mention it, I'll say that the whole situations at that movie are kind of wasting and useless. Okay, maybe some of you have never heard about this movie before, so let me give you a brief summary first then.. :) "The Mist" is a movie that is based on Stephen King's novel with the same title. It is a story about a mist which covered the entire area and turns out to be the machine killer. At first, it seems like kind of a ghost movie or something like that, but as the scenes running, there is nothing like that. Instead, it contains a huge animal that eat everything. It has tentacle and fly like a bee, but it also has a sting like a scorpion.. Confuse already..? Hehehe..

Then for the entire movie we can see how people trying to survive and struggle for their life, but in the end, most of them are failed to do so.. Pathetic situation.. Yet, the most pathetic situation is that where the five survivor who decided to take actions and flee from the department store, a place where the population been hiding, finally reach their gas limit and think that they were no way out. Therefore, they killed them self randomly, and unfortunately, there is a last man standing who feel so regret about the condition that he had. When he finally gave up and try to "put" his own self onto the creature, in all of sudden there are so many soldiers who is trying to save the survivor... See, how come the whole ugly things happened and you know, the hero comes very very late... Once again, it's all wasting and useless, right?

However, for the ladies viewer, just like me, will not so regret with the movie itself since there are still some cute casts in it, and you know what, the very last man standing is quite hot too, can't stand for his body... Hahahaha.. Lol.. :p

Happy... Can I?

Do you ever had the feeling that you are actually worth to get a pure happiness instead the bitter sweet feeling? Have you ever think about the possibilities that could happen to you if you take another steps in living your life? Or even, you have this kind of regret feeling of what you have done in the previous life..? Well, I can say that you are not alone, at least, you got my companion.

Yeah, you can say that I am a looser who had no gut to stand for my own believes and stand for my own sake. But I took my steps back then influenced by so many reasons that you couldn't possibly imagine. I were right at the intersection whether I had to fight for my feeling or just let it go as the wind goes by instead. "Come on, you can't be like this, Steph.. You got to take an action. Otherwise you will lose your own you.." My best friend, Mika, who always been there for me, once said. As if all burden that I've got wasn't enough, she really got her point, I'm starting to lose my own me.

"Well, yeah... I know it.. It's just.. You know, it's not as easy as it seems.."

"Honey, you got two choices right in front of you.. Speak up, told them about your feeling and take the risks, or just sit and keep that as your deepest secret, 'till you die, I think.."

"Mika.. All I've wanted is just to be happy...."

Silence. That's all what happened at that moment, right now, and probably, forever. Aarghh.. Sometimes, I do really hate for being me, a person who has a right but got to be careful and prefer not to use it. As you can see, this situation really makes me so weak. All I can do is just imagining all the situations back then, situations which make me so thrill and quite unforgettable. The situations that give me a brilliant idea to be a pretty young bride with a hot good looking groom.. Ah.. So pathetic...

Yeah, right.. I'm pitying my self right now. It's a very sad situation where your entire family finally got those images too, but as the time ticking, surprise surprise.. It turns out that you are not the one who become the pretty young bride, instead, you just become the bride's made.. What do you think about it? Do I really deserve to be happy...? Well, I really have no idea what God's will for me.. I mean, yes, I am happy for my friend's wedding. It's just.. Not with him.. He was belong with me. We were happy until that day, the day when he met her, and in all of sudden, the world, my world, is ruin. Then here I am right now, standing right next to the happy newly weds and trying to re-build my own me to get my own happiness. Well, I just want to be happy and don't want to live pathetically for my entire life, and... Not forget to wish them a very great life in the future, absolutely..

*Inspired by Leona Lewis' Happy.. :)